Not really advice, just an explanation

"Why?" You may ask, "Why were you not on the National Mall with 2 million other patriots to watch the history-making inauguration of our first African-American president? Especially when you lived just off of Route 395 and only 10 miles shy of the Capitol Building?"

Well, my dear mix of reproductive cells, we decided not to go because it was 10 degrees outside and your mom would like to avoid using Porta-Potties if at all possible. And we hate milling around with a bunch of dumbstruck people, which may explain why I never take you to amusement parks. We had a marvelous time sipping tea in bed, under the warm covers of a Siberian down quilt, and watching the whole thing in perfect clarity on our television. What about Disney World, you ask? Ask your father - maybe he will take you.